Recruiting Station Albany, N.Y. -- Within 1st Marine Corps District there are more than 298 married canvassing recruiters. Without sacrificing mission, how can the sacrament of marriage and quality of life be enhanced during these hard times?
According to Navy Chaplain Ronald R. Ringo, director of the Chaplains Religious Education Development Operation, Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune, N.C., the Commandant of the Marine Corps recognizes the hardship of the recruiting world and has taken a proactive stance on this problem.
“It is the Commandant’s recommendation that all married Marines with orders to recruiting school attend a CREDO marriage retreat beforehand,” said Ringo, a former canvassing recruiter himself. “ I receive an email list of these Marines before each class, and it is strongly suggested that they sign up for a retreat.”
While the retreat is designed to strengthen and develop marital skills, unforeseen stressors upon assignment to a recruiting station can be hard to plan for.
Lisa Huthmacher has been married to Gunnery Sgt. Nickolas Huthmacher for 14 years. Huthmacher, a career recruiter, has been assigned to Recruiting Station Albany since 1988, and over those years, Lisa has experienced every stage of the recruiting game. Lisa has seen it all; the good, the bad, and the ugly. While she easily recollects the early days alone in Watertown, N.Y, with just two young children for company, she is quick to point out that recruiting duty does have some positive aspects.
“He does work long hours, and because of that there is a little more stress than the average family has to bear. However, at least there are no deployments, so I am thankful that he comes home every night. True, he wasn’t able to be there for the kids as much as we’d have liked. If he were deployed, he wouldn’t be there at all. It’s a job and every job has its quirks. No career is perfect,” said Lisa, a Cortland, N.Y. native.
With years of understanding on her side, Lisa has a couple of pointers for spouses new to recruiting commands.
“I stayed at home when my first two children were little and I was in Watertown for two years with my three-year-old as my only conversation. I had no adult interaction, so for dinner I’d grab the kids and meet him at the office,” said Lisa. “Occasionally, I would help him at work, making phone calls or doing the boards. I made sure we had time together. I would encourage women to be independent. With my third child I chose to return to work. Our oldest two are more grown up, and we share the responsibility of our youngest.”
Lisa Hyde moved up to New York six months ago, and is already counting down the days till she can return to Southern ground. Married to Staff Sgt. Michael L. Hyde since 1999, the 36-year-old mother of two has no qualms explaining her current opinion of recruiting duty.
“It’s hard,” said the Raleigh, N.C. native. “All I do is take care of the kids. I have no conversation other than with my friends and family in North Carolina.”
The exchange is reminiscent of Lisa Huthmacher’s story of her first years as the spouse of a recruiter. Both agree there need to be more Key Volunteer Network interaction upon introduction to the command. For Lisa H. this is a definitive issue.
“There should be somebody who will take you around the area when you get here. Show you around town, so you know where things are,” said Lisa H. “My husband and I are both from the South and I have no family or friends here.”
A seldom-voiced view on transitioning into a recruiting command is the absence of a military presence. In the Fleet Marine Force, the community surrounding the base is compiled of families enduring the same hardships and perks whether it be deployment or the commissary. In a civilian environment, there is a definitive lack of knowledge about the military.
“Most of my friends think he works a normal job and that he gets more money for the hours that he works, “ said Nicole Vescovi, wife of Staff Sgt. Aaron Vescovi, non-commissioned officer in charge, RSS Schenectady, N.Y.
Unlike Lisa H., Nicole’s move to RS Albany was a welcome shift. Despite the long hours of her husbands schedule and often feeling like the single parent of her two children, they were fortunate enough to be placed in their hometown.
“If I hadn’t had my family around, this past three years would have been so much more difficult. I couldn’t imagine doing this duty without them being here,” said Nicole.
Nicole manages to juggle work, school and family time, but maintains that she doesn’t think it would have been possible without the support that she received. Speaking like a seasoned veteran, Nicole is semi-blasé about the hours her husband works. She credits this nonchalance to one thing – time.
“It was hard at first because of his long hours, but you do get used to it. The toughest thing we dealt with, and still do, is ‘Daddy can’t be involved’ scenario.”
In that saying, Nicole is not referring to the lack of her husbands desire to be involved, but his inability due to appointments, mission, quota and so on.
To make up for lack of family time, Nicole used methods quite similar to Lisa. The family would meet her husband after work and go into Albany to have dinner together.
‘We eat out a lot,’ she noted.
While Nicole didn’t need KVN support, she does recommend that in collaboration with the command, it could be an extremely valuable tool.
Nicole suggested an instructional class at the beginning of the tour. The class should explain each process of an applicant’s enlistment, and what the recruiter’s daily requirements should be. With military spouses used to fleet hours (0730-1630) a husband/wife showing up at 11 pm could raise concerns.
Nicole’s suggestion hasn’t fallen on deaf ears. RS Albany’s KVN program is still in its very early stages but many positive changes have been made since Sgt. Maj. Andrew L. Yagle’s arrival in 2003, when he took over the reins as RS Albany’s sergeant major title. Yagle has already deliberated adding a ‘spouses day’ to the initial Proficiency and Review Training that all new recruiters receive. A quarterly newsletter has been established, new phone tree systems, four new KVN personnel have been trained, and a KVN advisor is in place.
These additions should prove resourceful to command spouses. However, according to Ringo, it is the strength of the couple’s marriage that will endure the rigors of this duty. While recruiting and marriage might be hard to bear at times, Chaplain Ringo’s tips should offer some help.
Chaplain Ringo’s Marriage Tips for Recruiting Duty
1. Before reporting for recruiter’s school, attend a CREDO marriage retreat. If you are already on recruiting duty and sense problems arising, consider counseling. Inquire with your local Tricare provider for counseling opportunities available in your area. CREDO marriage retreats for 1st Marine Corps District Marines are held in Groton, Ct. Interested participants should contact their KVN advisor for details.
2. Make time every week for your self and each other. Whether it’s church on Sundays or a family meal, incorporate this time into your weekly schedule. Time to bond together as a couple alleviates stress.
3. Give YOURSELF time for a hobby or interest. Every person needs to feel like they have a life away from work or home.
4. Maintain an active interest in your partner’s life. Understand each other’s daily problems. From the pressure of mission to the babies uncontrollable crying, both are equally important.